All Paper Arts

A few weeks ago I wrote about my grandmother passing. The last few days she has really been on my mind even more than usual. I wake up from dreams of her being like I remember red headed and a ball of fire Jitter Bugging and singing Rum in Coca-Cola or Watermelon Wine. Making an army of food for just me and a few friends. Her funeral was very hard for me. I am not one to go to funerals. Maybe it because I am such a visual person but I just have this thing about wanting to remember people the way they were. To this day I have been to three funerals the first two were both curb side services one for my dad and one for my husbands hero his Paw Paw in both cases they had been cremated. My grandmother’s service on the other hand was an open casket at the funeral home. I know to some it may seem dishonorable but I did not go up to the casket. I just couldn’t like I said I am visual and what I could see when I walked in to the funeral home and during the service was more then I was expecting. Still two weeks later I have to block that picture from coming into my head. So instead I start thinking of moments with my grandmother. Some memories I had totally forgot about like every time I went to the grocery store or commissary with her when I was little she would by me a bag of puffed Cheetos. They were such a treat because that would be the only time I would get them.

Another memory is when I was in my second cousins wedding. My great aunt and grandmother had made flower girl and my dresses. The night before the wedding I went to put on the dress and in just a couple of months I had grown a good 3 or 4 inches. The sleeves were to short and the dress was tea length when it was suppose to be ankle length. The other little girls dress fit perfectly. I remember crying my eyes out. My grandmother and my aunt were both astonished so they had to come up with something quick. Luckily this was the late 70’s and ruffle and lace were a common embellishment for the dresses. So grandmother found some ultra wide eyelet lace and added it to the hem and sleeves of my dress. Viola it fit perfect. However it no longer looked exactly like the other little girls dress and she made a comment about it. I don’t remember what she said but I remember it making me cry all over. I don’t know what my grandmother said to me and I am pretty sure my mom god bless her was telling me to suck it up but I some how stopped my bawling and by the time it was to walk down the aisle I was okay. I don’t know what would have happened if it wasn’t for my grandmother and her quick thinking. I remember not wanting to be in the wedding because I felt like a freak show in the dress that was too short.

Me in another dress made by my Great Aunt Char (left) and Grandmother (right)

That seemed to be the way my grandmother was no matter how bad I was feeling she always would find a way to make me laugh. She was always able to laugh at any situation and more importantly herself. Although it has been a long road I am great at laughing at myself. Sometimes to the point it makes others uncomfortable that I can come right out and make fun of myself and look at what is happening in my life as funny. My girls are all ready starting to learn this and I hope this helps them to have a better self esteem then I did when I was their age because if you can laugh at yourself then it really doesn’t matter what others think does it?

As my grandmother always said I’ll drink to that!
My mom (left) with my grandmother on New Years many years ago.